|
When Catzilla invaded my lap |
[Kansas Sam] |
|
And Dogzilla started to yap |
[Francine] |
|
I reached for my gat |
[Beefy] |
|
And shot cur and cat |
[Helen Owly] |
|
And at last I was able to nap
|
[Francine]
|
|
If once I could travel through time |
[Beefy] |
|
I'd seek out the very first mime |
[Evan] |
|
And make him yell, "Yikes!" |
[Francine] |
|
At 'walls' armed with spikes |
[Kansas Sam] |
|
(I'm attempting to pantomime 'rhyme')
|
[Francine]
|
|
To sail round the world all alone |
[Beefy] |
|
And to do so without a cellphone |
[Francine] |
|
Takes courage galore |
[Beefy] |
|
But then if you snore |
[Grayman] |
|
Yellin' "Ellen!" will often atone
|
[Beefy]
|
|
When you gambol and frolic about |
[Francine] |
|
I can't tell your rear from your snout |
[Will_H] |
|
And thus when we kiss |
[Francine] |
|
It's a bit hit or miss |
[Anon] |
|
If I'm at the wrong end, give a shout
|
[Francine]
|
|
One never should stand about hatless |
[Evan] |
|
Unless one is canine- and cat-less |
[Kansas Sam] |
|
In which case, one's hair |
[Beefy] |
|
Arranged with great care |
[Francine] |
|
Will remain pristine and mat-less
|
[Karin]
|
|
I do prefer jazz to hiphop |
[Francine] |
|
But when I go into a shop |
[Beefy] |
|
My ears are assaulted |
[Will_H] |
|
By homies exaulted |
[Helen Owly] |
|
While fogies like me do doowop
|
[Francine]
|
|
In matters of sporting prowess |
[Beefy] |
|
There's something I have to confess |
[Francine] |
|
I take nandrolone |
[Beefy] |
|
Wrapped in a cornpone |
[Francine] |
|
No wonder I like to cross-dress
|
[Beefy]
|
|
I apprenticed one year as an inker |
[Evan] |
|
Though I wasn't that much of a drinker |
[Beefy] |
|
Nonetheless, I spilled ink |
[Francine] |
|
Over Pamela Pink |
[Beefy] |
|
Now Pamela thinks I'm a stinker
|
[Karin]
|
|
While I was out hunting one day |
[Grayman] |
|
In the fetid streets of Bombay |
[Francine] |
|
A sacred cow chip |
[Kansas Sam] |
|
Caused my left foot to slip |
[Karin] |
|
But I thought, "Holy sh*t! Should I pray?"
|
[Will_H]
|
|
I never expected that I |
[Beefy] |
|
Would suddenly sprout a third eye |
[Evan] |
|
My toe then got sight |
[Kansas Sam] |
|
But it's not very bright |
[Grayman] |
|
(It can't even calculate π)
|
[Beefy]
|
|
"My kingdom," he cried, "for a horse!" |
[Evan] |
|
Which his nag heard with zero remorse |
[Kansas Sam] |
|
And, quite undeterred, |
[Beefy] |
|
Tho' savagely spurred, |
[Evan] |
|
Threw him off with consid'rable force
|
[Beefy]
|
|
At parties, I'm seldom the wittiest |
[Will_H] |
|
Though from time to time I'm the prettiest |
[Karin] |
|
So just look and see |
[Beefy] |
|
If they all look at me |
[Evan] |
|
Then my implants have made me the...well..."wittiest" |
[Kansas Sam] |